Brian Chung

I recently read an article by John Ortbery called The Life You've Always Wanted, which talked about slowing your life down.  I really resonated with this article.  I've really rushed through life and I'm learning to slow things down. 

We all live in a hurried world; we buy things that will helps us hurry, we order fast food, and we try to get to places as fast as we can.  The problem with having a hurried lifestyle is that it can keep us from living well and have us rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it.  Ortbery writes that "We will just skim our lives instead of actually living them."

Here are some symptops to a hurried lifestyle:

• Constantly speeding up daily activities: wanting to be in the fastes lane on the freeway, wanting to be in the shortest line in the grocery market to the point that we keep track of the person who would hav ebeen me in the other lane
• Multiple-tasking: out of the desperate need to hurry, we find ourselves doing or thinking more than one thing at time, for example, in car, we don't just drive, but we also drink, eat, talk on the phone, etc.
• Clutter:  we have a bunch of books that we say we're going to read, we buy time saving gadgets that we end up not using
• Superficiality:  the need to feel like we need to understand everything--even the smallest thing--minutely and exactly
• An Inability to Love:  Love always takes time and time is one thing hurried people don't have
• Sunset Fatigue: We're just too tired and too trained to love people whom we have made deep promises with

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This summer I wanted to start a blog.  So here it is!

So what is this blog about?
Now, I'm not he best writer, and I can't promise anything that revelational.  But, what I can promise is for this blog to be a place where I can record the lessons I've learned, to keep track of them myself, and a place where I can hopefully pass on those lessons to you, the readers.

So here it goes, let the journey of lessons begin.

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I've heard it many times, "Be joyful while you're in pain" but never understood how this could be even possible.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been through some tough and painful times, and I've been constantly asking myself, "where is the joy?"

I'm happy to say that I think I've found the answer!  Not only just for these past couple of weeks, but also throughout my college career, I've been through a lot of pain and suffering.  But the good news is, I've learned a lot not only about myself, but also about the world.  I would not have learned those lessons unless I went through those times of pain.  I believe that those times of pain really made me stronger, and I think it did make me a better person.  This is why I'm joyful.  This is why I'm excited, even though I constantly feel broken and torn apart.  I'm joyful because I know that there is an out; I know that there is an end to this pain.  And not only do I know that there is an end, but I know that after I'm done, I'll be a stronger and hopefully better person than I am right now.

"And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." -James 1:4

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Throughout college, I've gotten into many arguments and conflicts, especially with my roommate, and through these arguments I would say that when there is reconciliation, we've become closer friends.  I've also become really good at resolving conflicts, and would love to share the lessons that I've learned.  In any scenario, whether it is with a friend, spouse, or co-worker, I think that learning how to resolve conflict is an invaluable characteristic to have.

"All relationships are made firm through conflict, whether that be external or internal. I once learned from a very wise man that there are three stages to relationship: discovery, conflict, and partnership. This applies to all kinds of relationships, whether they be familial, friendships, work-related, romantic, or whatever else there is."
Becky Hill's Blog

"When [a relationship] is strained or broken, plan a peace conference immediately.  Don't procrastinate, make excuse, or promise "I'll get around to it someday."  Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible.  Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse.  In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester." -Rick Warren

Key steps to resolve conflict from The Purpose Driven Life:

• Sympathize with their feelings
• Admit your part of the conflict
• Attack the problem, not the person  (use for "I feel..." phrases rather than "When YOU did this..."
  
• Cooperate as much as possible

• Take some time to let each other cool down
• Listen (ask "What do you think about it?")
• Have open body language (don't cross your arms, and sit eye-to-eye)
• Affirm the the friendship/relationship is cool after there is reconciliation

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First of all, I would like to credit a majority of what I know about Twitter to Guy Kawasaki.  You can read more about Twitter on his blog:
http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2008/11/looking-for-m-1.html
http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2008/12/how-to-use-twit.html

Now why Twitter?  I think it can best explained through these youtube videos.




Anyways after experimenting with many of the "twools" Guy recommened, I narrowed my applications down to four.
1.  Brightkit.com

     

Click here to download:

Twitter_Twools_that_I_use.zip (77 KB)

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It was either a security system, or a dog.  I knew my mom wouldn't be happy with a security system, so I told her that she should get a dog instead.  So my mom and dad got one! He is a Golden Retriever.  Anyone have ideas for a name?

               

Click here to download:

Family_got_a_dog.zip (6835 KB)

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I know it's not Valentines, but hey, every guy needs a couple days to prepare.  If I were in a relationship, I would do the same thing too. If you are a girl and reading this, STOP READING NOW.  This is an exert from a blog by Seth: http://thedatingpapers.com

Again, if you are a girl, STOP READING NOW.  If you are a girl and continue reading, FEEL GUILTY!

Love Hack: The 7 Days Of Valentine

http://thedatingpapers.com/blog/love-hack-the-7-days-of-valentine/

The following is a playbook that will save you money, improve your relationship, and put things in motion for a rewarding commercial-free holiday: It won't help you pick up women but it will definitely give you a hand in lifting up your relationship. Let me know how it works for you!

Day 0: Any day before Feb.1st: Make a list with 7 sections, one for each day. Outline how you want to customize each day to make the most of what your situation. What sort of things does she like? Jot down your ideas as you read the playbook. Keep it simple. What matters most is consistent application, not grandiose planning.

Ready? 

Day 1: February 1st: Bring her a gift that seems ridiculous. Something inexpensive and mundane. Like a grapefruit. It's important that you give her something because mainstream media begins pushing Valentine's the hardest today. Simply hand her the grapefruit and tell her you're glad she's around. She'll be a little confused. this is good.

Day 2: February 3rd: Send her the first half of a note. Make it short. Stop writing in the middle of a sentence. A pleasant note about regular things is fine. Just don't pick a mundane sentence to end with. She'll be wondering what's gotten into you at this point. 

Day 3: February 5th: Assuming you've not told her what's in the final half of your note, send it to her. By "send" I mean that you need to make sure it's in her possession. You don't have to mail it.  Draw a stick figure at the bottom of your note holding a flower and caption it "Stick people don't get to give real flowers so you'll have to draw a vase to put this one in." The more unlike you this part is, the better. We're trying to create some suspense, hot shot. Trust me and play by the rules. 

Day 4: February 7th:  Ask one of her friends to tell her that you said she's fantastic and are really glad to have her in your life. Make sure the friend doesn't let on that you've communicated. The idea is for her to get the message from multiple sources without putting everything together and hunting you down for an explanation. If she asks questions, just tell her you're trying something you read on some website. You don't remember what website it was. 

Day 5:  February 9th: Start looking at recipes. You'll be cooking dinner. If you can't think of anything to cook, check out some web resources and pick something that looks good.  A good practice is to avoid anything that seems at all French. Try it ahead of time. Keep it simple. Don't make more than three dishes. Washing more than three burnt-on pans is depressing.

Let her know that you'd like to stay in for Valentine's Day and that you don't want to answer questions. This may be the only time she'll actually leave you alone about something. Enjoy it. Anticipation is a good thing. 

Day 6: February 11th: Give her a real flower. If you're dying to spend some money, have it delivered. Make sure you attach a note that says you bought a dozen flowers but you're waiting for your bail-out funding before taking delivery of the other 11 flowers. This is fun, it's cute, you win. Savvy? 

Day 7: February 13th: This is a two-part assignment. First, tell her that she may do what she likes with you for 2 hours the following evening. Say from 7-9pm so she won't cop out by dragging you to bed. That's a great concept but you want this to be something she puts some creativity into as well. If she decides she just wants to watch "When Harry Met Sally" for a 5th time. Agree to do it. The fake orgasm scene is amusing, at least.

Second, write her a letter. You know, the ones you make with a pen and some nice paper? Describe how you met and why you are glad to be with her. "You had nice breasts. I like them." is not an acceptable reason. Especially if things have been a little rocky in your relationship lately, this letter will help smooth things out a bit before Valentine's Day. It may be difficult to write, but it will be worth it. 

The commercialization of Valentine's Day is not an excuse to ignore the occasion. It is a challenge to be creative and find new ways to enjoy a holiday dedicated to the love that makes your life so much brighter. 

Don't spend more than $50. If you do, you've missed the point. Also, if you don't genuinely like her, everything you do will be fake. Don't be fake. I hate fake people. I don't want to hate you. Good luck! It's going to be a Happy Valentine's Day after all!

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